[It's said very reluctantly. But he's still standing there, so it's not like a Familiar's change, not exactly.. but similar enough maybe that the idea of treating a person like an animal might be a problem. Has been a problem.]
A while back I ... decided I needed an ally I could rely on and .. misinterpreted the spell other worlds use to create something called an 'omen'. Instead of being made of smoke and blood, Casimir is .. part of my soul cut out and given a different shape.
[And they very much share opinions on everything, including the deeply ingrained yearning for contact. A hand held out is one very much that dog or teen or both would want to lean into, but ... but.. that's not a good idea, is it?
People don't touch other people the way they do animals. People don't get scritches. Don't get the good spot behind their ears rubbed. Don't get to play tug or get a belly rub. Things a dog can enjoy freely.
When the 'dog' chooses to speak, he sounds ... almost exactly like Sephiroth himself, as if heard from down a long hallway. Just another teenager.]
People treat us differently. Nobody plays with a person, but they'll play with a dog. People won't pet him but they'll pet me, or give me a hug, or play with me, and they won't with him.. but I can share that, and we both can feel it. It feels a little bit like belonging somewhere. We don't tell anyone, so they'll keep doing it. Is ... are we bad?
[ Alluka looks between Sephiroth and the not quite dog. There's something ironic about the fact Sephiroth now has two bodies that are both him, and Alluka and Nanika share one body. Some kind of inversion. Yet as different as that is, Alluka understands being different and being treated poorly for that difference. Even if people don't mean for it to be poorly. ]
I hope it doesn't hurt you, doing the spell then, or existing in two parts now.
[ She listens to... Casimir Sephiroth called this part of himself. Casimir. It's strange hearing Sephiroth's voice coming from somewhere else while Sephiroth is also standing right there. Alluka leans in close and gives the (not quite) dog a hug. She scratches behind his ears. Then she stands and gives Sephiroth a hug. A good hug. She's good at hugs. She also then scratches behind his ear. It feels stranger, yes, but everyone deserves to have affection. ]
You aren't bad, either of you, but you know, Sephiroth, you could've asked me for hugs or scritches or head pats any time. You belong here. You belong with me. And finding belonging isn't bad. We're all doing the best we can.
[It hurt then, because he thought it should - and so it did. It sounded like it should be painful but maybe not the worst he'd ever experienced, and so after a fashion it could be tolerated.
It was a hard lesson in managing his expectations and getting more information before he jumped in when it came to real actual magic.
Because it's somehow different when it's a dog, it's fine for Casimir to lean into the hug, or an ear scratch, but Sephiroth knows humans are held to different standards even if he wasn't one, and so he does no such thing, but it's ... it's still nice. Touch that doesn't come with the promise of fighting, no need to worry about defense or retaliation. A warmth largely lacking in his life, and unheard of until this year. And though he doesn't return the hug directly, still certain there's a line that can't be crossed, a 'dog' can just fine. And that long tentacle that sprouts from Casimir's shoulders is perfectly good in lieu of arms.]
... Thank you for saying so, but I know it's .. you can't just ask for things like that.
[Weakness. Forbidden.
Did he ... really belong here? Far from Shinra's reach, far from the inevitable fate that waited in his own world? It was a nice thought, warm in a strange and appealing way, like being killed by Caduceus had been.]
One of the only other people who knows ... said doing this wasn't right, in so many words. That I was being manipulative, selfish. But I don't know if she's saying so because she knows my future, and I thought since you don't..
[ Alluka makes it a long hug, but she pulls back to listen more to what Sephiroth has to say. She cannot help the small frown that forms when Sephiroth says you can't ask for hugs or scritches or... what, any kinds of affection? That's not right. Nanika doesn't ask because her demands have consequences, but she can still say what she wants. Zechs gives them both hugs. Lots of people give them affection because people need that. ]
You can ask me for things like that. I enjoy giving hugs and head pats and everything else. So you know, you'd be doing me a favor, letting me know they'd be welcome.
[ Maybe it'll help if it's for her? Alluka doesn't mind asking for what she wants, and she's going to ask for hugs from Sephiroth more often. She doesn't have any hangups about that.
As for the description of the dog-like extension of Sephiroth, Alluka shakes her head. ]
I don't know your future, that's right, but what you're doing now is what you're doing now. It doesn't matter if you did it or someone whose future she approves. It is what it is on its own. It's not manipulative or selfish. I don't know how many times I've gotten head pats and hugs while transformed into a dog. Familiars turn into animals all the time. There's dog spirits. It's not like Casimir is the first instance of a dog being a person, not just a dog.
There's nothing wrong with wanting love and affection, and that's what you get with Casimir.
[ Even if Alluka thinks he should also get it as himself. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[It's said very reluctantly. But he's still standing there, so it's not like a Familiar's change, not exactly.. but similar enough maybe that the idea of treating a person like an animal might be a problem. Has been a problem.]
A while back I ... decided I needed an ally I could rely on and .. misinterpreted the spell other worlds use to create something called an 'omen'. Instead of being made of smoke and blood, Casimir is .. part of my soul cut out and given a different shape.
[And they very much share opinions on everything, including the deeply ingrained yearning for contact. A hand held out is one very much that dog or teen or both would want to lean into, but ... but.. that's not a good idea, is it?
People don't touch other people the way they do animals. People don't get scritches. Don't get the good spot behind their ears rubbed. Don't get to play tug or get a belly rub. Things a dog can enjoy freely.
When the 'dog' chooses to speak, he sounds ... almost exactly like Sephiroth himself, as if heard from down a long hallway. Just another teenager.]
People treat us differently. Nobody plays with a person, but they'll play with a dog. People won't pet him but they'll pet me, or give me a hug, or play with me, and they won't with him.. but I can share that, and we both can feel it. It feels a little bit like belonging somewhere. We don't tell anyone, so they'll keep doing it. Is ... are we bad?
no subject
[ Alluka looks between Sephiroth and the not quite dog. There's something ironic about the fact Sephiroth now has two bodies that are both him, and Alluka and Nanika share one body. Some kind of inversion. Yet as different as that is, Alluka understands being different and being treated poorly for that difference. Even if people don't mean for it to be poorly. ]
I hope it doesn't hurt you, doing the spell then, or existing in two parts now.
[ She listens to... Casimir Sephiroth called this part of himself. Casimir. It's strange hearing Sephiroth's voice coming from somewhere else while Sephiroth is also standing right there. Alluka leans in close and gives the (not quite) dog a hug. She scratches behind his ears. Then she stands and gives Sephiroth a hug. A good hug. She's good at hugs. She also then scratches behind his ear. It feels stranger, yes, but everyone deserves to have affection. ]
You aren't bad, either of you, but you know, Sephiroth, you could've asked me for hugs or scritches or head pats any time. You belong here. You belong with me. And finding belonging isn't bad. We're all doing the best we can.
no subject
[It hurt then, because he thought it should - and so it did. It sounded like it should be painful but maybe not the worst he'd ever experienced, and so after a fashion it could be tolerated.
It was a hard lesson in managing his expectations and getting more information before he jumped in when it came to real actual magic.
Because it's somehow different when it's a dog, it's fine for Casimir to lean into the hug, or an ear scratch, but Sephiroth knows humans are held to different standards even if he wasn't one, and so he does no such thing, but it's ... it's still nice. Touch that doesn't come with the promise of fighting, no need to worry about defense or retaliation. A warmth largely lacking in his life, and unheard of until this year. And though he doesn't return the hug directly, still certain there's a line that can't be crossed, a 'dog' can just fine. And that long tentacle that sprouts from Casimir's shoulders is perfectly good in lieu of arms.]
... Thank you for saying so, but I know it's .. you can't just ask for things like that.
[Weakness. Forbidden.
Did he ... really belong here? Far from Shinra's reach, far from the inevitable fate that waited in his own world? It was a nice thought, warm in a strange and appealing way, like being killed by Caduceus had been.]
One of the only other people who knows ... said doing this wasn't right, in so many words. That I was being manipulative, selfish. But I don't know if she's saying so because she knows my future, and I thought since you don't..
[An outside opinion.]
no subject
You can ask me for things like that. I enjoy giving hugs and head pats and everything else. So you know, you'd be doing me a favor, letting me know they'd be welcome.
[ Maybe it'll help if it's for her? Alluka doesn't mind asking for what she wants, and she's going to ask for hugs from Sephiroth more often. She doesn't have any hangups about that.
As for the description of the dog-like extension of Sephiroth, Alluka shakes her head. ]
I don't know your future, that's right, but what you're doing now is what you're doing now. It doesn't matter if you did it or someone whose future she approves. It is what it is on its own. It's not manipulative or selfish. I don't know how many times I've gotten head pats and hugs while transformed into a dog. Familiars turn into animals all the time. There's dog spirits. It's not like Casimir is the first instance of a dog being a person, not just a dog.
There's nothing wrong with wanting love and affection, and that's what you get with Casimir.
[ Even if Alluka thinks he should also get it as himself. ]